Written by Inqui | 01 June 2011

First, allow me to start by admitting that right now, this is my actual photo:
Now we have that confession out of the way, here's why I think it might be an interesting possibility.

1) We already have this Big 3 story going on, and let's be honest, it's great for the NBA. They finally have a villain story and a powerful bandwagon tool. The amount of Heat apparel I've seen this season is outright nauseating. Meanwhile, as some newly-minted-yet-rabid Heat fans are pointing out, new records are being broken for the NBA's viewership.

2) It's been alleged that Michael Jordan's first retirement was forced by some NBA bigwig because of his gambling problems and the image of the NBA. Not directly relevant to my crackpot theory, but I'll get to this soon.

3) Some astute watchers have pointed out that the Drafts Lottery is probably fixed. And, in fairness, it was an inspirational coincidence that poor old shafted Cleveland got (arguably) the best result. Come the offseason, Cleveland get to pick up a couple of talented youngsters and develop them over time, whilst still being the pretty average object of pity among NBA viewers.

4) LeBron will eventually win a ring with Miami. I hate to say it, but it seems inevitable. He gets his sought-after prize, the NBA gets their story of the talented hard worker who finally got what was coming.

5) Come five years, LeBron will be getting older, probably no longer the best. It would be interesting if he "got nostalgic" and decided to head back to the team he rose to prominence with. He has his excuse to play for a reduced price, and all of a sudden Cleveland's younger starlets have begun to improve significantly.

6) The Cleveland Cavaliers are now the story of that poor whipping boy of a team who have finally had something go right again, after being shafted all those years ago by The Lyin' King. They are the NBA's darling story who would ideally steal the hearts of a nation.

7) Now, what if the NBA had facilitated all this to happen? Similarly to the Jordan conspiracy? It would make sense for them to do it, as in screwing Cleveland up at Miami's expense they have some quick flash-in-the-pan revenue. But come LBJ's glorious return home, they have another big story for raking in the wads of cash.

Like I said at the start, this is definitely in the realms of the crazy conspiracy theorist, but would we all really be that surprised if it did happen? All I can say is to keep the link for this piece in a safe place so I can say I told you so.
And I will.  Right after I deal with those damn Martians...